"𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄" 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗮 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗹.

𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗮 𝗱𝗼𝗼𝗿.

In my experience as a career coach, the most common response to an open-ended question is "I don't know." And that’s perfectly fine. "I don't know" isn't a failure. It’s a sign that the client is feeling overwhelmed, afraid of giving a "wrong" answer, or perhaps just needs a moment.

Truth is, it's not a dead end, it's an invitation to go deeper. So, how do you manage that situation? There are a few approaches. But, the most important thing is that the coach senses the client’s emotional state, reads their body language, and judges the context of that moment. 

Typically, I go down one of three paths

⏳ 𝗜 𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. For some coaches, this is hard. We’re all (hopefully) empathetic, so the instinct is to jump in and ask the question a different way. Or worse, start offering solutions. But me, I’m a raging introvert. I can let that silence drag on for as long as it takes…and then some! More often than not, the client is simply thinking. They're digging deeper. You have to let them. In my experience, the most powerful insights often land in the space right after that silence.

🤏 𝗜 𝘀𝗵𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. For some clients, "What do you want to do next in your career?" is too hard to answer at that moment. The question is just too big. So, I break it down into bite-sized chunks. I ask something smaller, more concrete. "What's one thing you enjoyed about your last job?" "What's a task you did last week that didn't feel like work?". “Tell me about a time at work when everything fell into place, you were flying high, and things just seemed to happen for you naturally.”

📉 𝗜 𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀. Sometimes, "I don't know" really means "I'm afraid to be wrong." The client is worried about committing to an answer. So, I take that pressure away. My favorite technique is to ask, "Imagine you did know, what might you say?". Or, "What's your best guess?". Or, “If you had a magic wand and couldn’t possibly fail, what would you do?”. This gives them permission to explore an idea without having to own it completely.

Ultimately, "I don't know" isn't a wall, it’s a door. My role as a coach is to help you find the door and step through it. 

If you don’t know and you’d like to find your door, setup a free 30 minute chat using the button at the top of the page!